After 15 years, I still choose to be the one who answers the birth mother intake phone line. I receive phone calls, texts, and emails at all times of the day and night every single day. Many are from pregnant women who are considering adoption but ask me, “Will a family want to adopt my baby?” If you are pregnant and considering adoption, I want to reassure you that there is a family for every baby. It is our job to not just find any family, but find the RIGHT family for your baby.
Other common concerns from pregnant women range from drug use, medical concerns, mental illness, finances, housing, and many others. Hopefully, after reading this, you will find peace and comfort in your adoption decision.
How Do You Know A Family Wants To Adopt My Baby?
When adoptive families come into our program, they fill out a preference sheet, very similar to a preference sheet that you, as a birth mother, will fill out. In the adoptive families’ preference sheet, they will select if they will accept substance exposure and if so, which substances, are acceptable with their birth mother choice. There are a range of other questions on the preference sheet as well. The completed preference sheet insures that when an adoptive family is placed with a baby that they can handle should any issues arise. For example, methadone exposure usually requires a baby to stay in the NICU at the hospital for a few weeks for withdrawal, and the adoptive family would need to be able and willing to provide what is necessary to help the baby through that time. One adoptive family may be well versed in a specific birth defect, whereas another may not be able to ensure that level of medical care. We screen the adoptive families and make sure they are educated and prepared to welcome the newborn baby that is placed in their home.
Drug Use
The most common concern for pregnant women considering adoption is drug use – past or present. Many, many women placing a baby for adoption have used drugs before or during their pregnancy. Our adoptive families are very educated and understand the medical risks. They have made intentional choices about adopting a baby with drug exposure.
Mental Illness
Mental illness in a biological family ranging from a bi-polar diagnosis to a schizophrenia diagnosis is often another concern for a birth mother. This is another specific area where our adoptive families note on their preference sheet what they are comfortable potentially dealing with in the future raising the child.
Down Syndrome
Being pregnant and having been told that the baby is at risk or most likely will have Down syndrome can be very scary. Rest assured, many adoptive families are absolutely wanting and willing to adopt a baby with Down syndrome.
Birth Defects
Unknown or known birth defects when you are pregnant is again very scary. Adoptive families want to adopt a baby. They want to raise a child and understand that life presents many unknowns. Many adoptive families will be thrilled to adopt and raise a baby with birth defects.
Unknown or Multiple Birth Fathers
Not all pregnant women know who the birth father of their baby is. This situation is more common than one may think. Sometimes a pregnant woman may have multiple possibilities of birth fathers. This is all okay, and yes, you can still place your baby for adoption. There is no judgment, and you will receive nothing but respect from our agency and your chosen adoptive family.
Smoking
If you smoke during your pregnancy, adoptive families will still want to adopt your baby. Regardless of how many cigarettes you smoke, your baby will always be wanted and cherished.
Incarceration
Yes! You can still place a baby if you are incarcerated and yes, an adoptive family would be thrilled to adopt your baby. When you are incarcerated, you can choose the adoptive family for your baby from our database. We coordinate with your jail/prison to make this possible.
Building Arizona Families Helps You On Your Adoption Journey
Rest assured, if you are pregnant, regardless of the situation – we can help. There are adoptive families that are willing, wanting, and able to adopt your baby. Your baby can have the life you want him or her to have.
If you are pregnant and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona adoption agency, visit us HERE. We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on-site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation to help you move forward into the positive future you long for – a fresh start for a new life. You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112 or introduce yourself to us HERE. You are not alone, and we want to help. Thank you for considering adoption, you are making a beautiful choice.
