Sometimes women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy come into our adoption program and are homeless, using drugs, broke, hungry, have no place to go, with no one to support them. If this is you, and you realize there is no way possible that you can parent this baby, you know that the best choice for you and the baby is to find a family for your baby that can give them the best future possible. At Building Arizona Families, you know that you can choose the right family to place your baby with for adoption – an adoptive family that can provide everything for your baby that you cannot. We understand that this is an incredibly hard decision, and you may wish that your situation was different. But, we also understand that your adoption choice is very brave – it is made out of love, realization, and selflessness.
During your pregnancy, our local adoption agency will help you stabilize your living situation. You will have a place to live, food, clothing, and all of your basic needs met, as well as a caring team of people to walk beside you. Life may look different once your pregnancy nears the end. Once you are closer to labor and delivery, you may start to second guess your adoption plan. You find a family for your baby that you like, and you know how excited they are about the adoption. You don’t want to hurt the adoptive family but you keep thinking about you and your baby.
It’s Normal for a Birth Mother’s Feelings to Waiver After Delivering a Beautiful Baby
You go into labor and deliver your beautiful baby. You are immediately in love and wonder why you ever thought you could proceed with an adoption. Maybe your family came to the hospital and promised to help you financially with the baby, with housing and more. Your friends come to the hospital and tell you how cute the baby is and ask, “Why you aren’t keeping the baby?”
This is a very common scenario, but this is where you need to stop and think –
1. You have stabilized yourself because your adoption agency is financially assisting you. You are not employed and would have remained on the street (if you were homeless) if you had not created an adoption plan. You are not financially independent. Although your family has come to the hospital and said they would financially help you – did they in the past? Where were they when you were homeless? Why did they avoid your phone calls? Why should you trust them now?
2. You never expected to feel so in love with your baby. This is nature’s way of creating mother instincts. You should be in love with your baby – it’s why your adoption choice is so incredibly selfless and done in love. Sometimes the hardest things are the best things. You also experience a surge of hormones after delivery that intensifies your feelings.
3. Perhaps the hospital has reported to the Department of Child Safety because you and baby tested positive for drug use. The DCS case manager comes to talk with you at the hospital. He/she will explain that the baby may not be able to go home with you if DCS determines the child is in imminent danger.
As an adoption agency, we see the internal conflict some birth mothers have after delivery. The false sense of belief that you are stable now when you are not independently stable because you have been financially assisted. If you choose not to proceed with your adoption plan, then DCS may remove the baby from the hospital, and either way, you will need to work with DCS to keep the baby. This is where reality can hit hard. You remember you have nothing prepared for a baby; no car seat, formula, no housing, no employment, no childcare, and the list continues. Then you remember this is why you chose adoption as the best choice for your baby. This is why you walked through the doors of the adoption agency and created an adoption plan, chose an adoptive family, and made a plan to move forward.
Building Arizona Families Helps You Find a Family for Your Baby That You Love
You chose adoption and found a family for your baby because you know you made the right choice a long time ago. You chose open adoption because you want to remain a part of your baby’s life. You love the adoptive family you chose, and you know that they will be amazing parents. You know that you are doing the right thing and it’s hard, but its what’s best for you, your baby, and you will both be ok!
Building Arizona Families / AZ Pregnancy Help is a local adoption agency helping birth mothers in Arizona. If you would like to create an Arizona adoption plan, please contact us at (623) 695-4112. If you are considering placing a baby for adoption and want to find a family for your baby in Arizona or anywhere in the United States, we can help. Please remember, there are alternatives to abortion, and we offer free unplanned pregnancy help. We also offer financial help for pregnancy when choosing adoption.