As the co-founder and agency director of an adoption agency, there is little I have not seen, heard or experienced. Many adoptive families will be surprised by my answers as well as other birth mothers. In my opinion, there should be no secrets in adoption, as secrets are truths that someone feels should not be publically known. Secrets breed concern, fear, and separation. When public figures adopt, brings light and awareness to adoption, which assists in adoption awareness, but without releasing personal information it also breeds assumptions, myths, and speculation.
The Heroes of Adoption
The goal of this blog is to bring to light truth; the good, the bad and the ugly. The heroes of adoption are the birth mothers; they show the bravery, commitment and selflessness to make adoption occur. So while birth mothers wear their cape, society needs to realize the struggle is real and can be difficult and heartbreaking. For all of you birth mothers; past, present or future- your story is yours to tell, please share your story and let your voice be heard.
Here is the truth, I have seen over the past fifteen years:
- Yes, prostitution is a way babies are conceived. Prostitution is not uncommon in the adoption world. Pimps exist and are usually in favor of adoption as long as they can maintain control.
- Birth mothers may have other children and choose not to parent their unborn child. Every woman has her own reason and story; no one judges a woman for making a selfless choice.
- Birth mothers may be married, and the birth father of her unborn child may not be her legal husband.
- The family of the birth mother may not know about her adoption choice and may not even know that she is pregnant.
- Birth mothers may have intentionally become pregnant and then decided that it was not the right time to parent, not all babies placed for adoption are unplanned.
- Yes, birth mothers may have a list of possible birth fathers. This is also very common, and this does not in itself negatively impact adoption.
- Sometimes a birth mother may plan on doing an abortion and then change her mind and make an adoption plan.
- Birth mothers who do more than one adoption may not always choose the same adoptive family for their second adoption.
- Sometimes birth mothers choose an open adoption and then disappear after the baby is born, for various reasons.
- Birth mothers often place their babies for adoption to choose a better life for their baby than they can provide. This realization is heartbreaking, and they may not ever express their true emotions.
Building Arizona Families Can Help!
Building Arizona Families / AZ Pregnancy Help is a local adoption agency. If you would like to create an Arizona adoption plan, please contact us at (623) 695-4112. If you are considering placing a baby for adoption and want to find a family for your baby in Arizona or anywhere in the United States, we can help. Please remember, there are alternatives to abortion, and we offer free unplanned pregnancy help. We also offer financial help for pregnancy when choosing adoption. Read more about how Building Arizona Families can help you HERE.