Every time I speak with a birth mother struggling with a crisis pregnancy in AZ, I learn more about what you need, how you are feeling, and how we can make your adoption journey even better. I have spoken to hundreds and hundreds of birth mothers, and I still want to learn more.
The Statements, Feelings, and Opinions of Birthmothers Are Powerful
I have learned the following from birth mothers and the following statements/feelings/opinions have remained consistent:
- You really can’t understand what I feel unless you have placed a baby for adoption.
I have heard this statement from every birth mother I have spoken to, and I completely agree. As adoption professionals, we can be educated, experienced and learn from our clients, but unless we have personally experienced placing a child for adoption, we can’t 100% relate to what you are experiencing. This is why we have birth mothers that have gone through our program that are willing to speak with you and groups that you may attend with other birth mothers to share your journey.
- Talking with another birth mother who has placed a baby for adoption really helps
Sharing the experience helps pregnant women during their pregnancy and after. Which is why our agency has support groups and other clients who are happy to speak to you and share their story.
- I have good days and bad days; some days, I feel terrific about my adoption choice and other days I struggle.
Adoption is a big decision and is one of the biggest, if not the most significant decision you will ever make. So many factors, emotions, and adoption-related decisions are going through your head. What you are feeling is totally normal. Any big decision you make in life may create conflicting thoughts or create back and forth emotions, and that’s okay. I would suggest asking your caseworker to connect you with a counselor to help sort out your feelings.
- My emotions are all over the place; sometimes, I feel really angry and other days sad, and sometimes I feel relieved. The highs and lows feel extreme, and making important decisions about my adoption plans can be stressful.
This is 100% normal. In addition to having made a very difficult choice, you are experiencing fluctuating hormone levels as a result of your pregnancy. Hormonal ups and downs can compound your feelings. Pregnancy alone, not accompanied by adoption, can make a woman feel totally out of control regarding her emotions, and when you add in adoption, it can make life feel like an emotional rollercoaster.
- I know I am making the right choice when I choose adoption. Sometimes I avoid contact with my adoptive family or seem distant, not because I don’t love the family I chose or because I am questioning my choice, but because this is hard and I am jealous that they are in a position to parent my baby and I am not.
As adoption professionals, we understand this challenge. We will educate your chosen adoptive family so they understand it’s not them and they haven’t done anything wrong. Reassuring them will provide support to them and take any related stress off of you. Again this is normal.
Understanding Feelings During a Crisis Pregnancy
These five feelings/statements have been very consistent with almost every birth mother I have spoken with. I believe that they are important for other pregnant women considering adoption because a common concern is “is this feeling normal”, “do other women feel the same way?”, and “do adoption specialists understand how I am feeling?”. The answer is yes, as adoption professionals, we do understand. We may not have placed a baby for adoption, but we understand our limitations and your wants and needs. By gaining an understanding of what you want, need, and feel, we can do our job providing better support to you throughout your crisis pregnancy in Arizona and after. Our goal is, and always will be, to assist, educate, and support you throughout your adoption journey.
Are You Experiencing a Crisis Pregnancy in AZ? You Are Not Alone and We Want To Help!
If you are struggling with a crisis pregnancy in AZ and are considering adoption, we are a licensed, full-service, non-profit Arizona adoption Agency, visit us HERE. We believe in adoption aftercare services and have a program on site to provide continued support through the Donna K. Evans Foundation. You can contact us 24/7 at (623) 695-4112. You are not alone, and we want to help. Thank you for considering adoption – you are making an amazing choice!